The Christmas Tree that Wasn't

The good king awoke and exclaimed to himself: "The time draweth near for the mighty Christmas tree foretold by our forefathers."

And the king feared in his heart lest the prophecy might be undone, and so he devised divers plans by which he might obtain the tree. And so that day the good king exclaimed to the queen: "Forsooth! The children join with me on a mighty adventure 'ere the day is o'er to scour the land for trees suitable for our castle. And lo! We shall return anon bereft of trees, but bearing glad tidings of good merchants which may suit our purposes."

And so the good queen was glad in her heart, for said she, the children do weary me with their teasings, and I shall find rest. And thus the king, though harmless, did fool the queen with guile.

And thereupon the children and the king did go questing for the tree which would fulfill the prophecy, every whit. And they searched far and wide and lo, they did find the very tree which should fulfill the prophecy.  And the king rejoiced, saying, "Even this day hath we found this tree, which shall be an heirloom unto my house forevermore!" 

And the king did dance and make merry with the children, for they were all of them joyful at the sight of so fine and mighty a tree, whereupon the tree was felled to the earth.  And so terrible was the fall that the earth did shake and tremble as if it were to divide asunder. And yet the good king did rejoice all the more, for the tree was indeed great and terrible.

The king, alighting to his steed, in one swift motion hefted the tree and children upon the steed. And the steed groaned within himself at so great a load, and would that he might shirk his duties.  But the king urged his steed onward, and the steed received strength, that his burden was made light. And thus the tree of prophesy was fetched unto the castle.

Whereupon when the queen saw the tree she did laugh out loud in a most hearty manner. However, in spite of her jeering, the tree was indeed pleasing to the eye, and beautiful to behold. And all who saw it did remark upon its greatness and glory. And the king pronounced that the prophecy had been fulfilled, and did rest from his labors.

And yet the queen was not convinced of the fulfillment of the prophecy, for, said she, "The tree stinketh, and suffocateth me nigh unto death, for behold, it stoppeth my breath in my nostrils, that I can scarce draw breath."

And behold, the king feared in his heart, lest he should lose his tree, and he wist not what to do. For, said he, "What more could I have done for my tree?" And he was loath to lose his tree. To wit, it pained the king that he must lose his tree, even the tree of prophecy, even for one so lovely as the queen.  And yet the king loved the queen, even more than he loved the tree, whereupon the king did banish the tree, and all its ilk, from the castle forevermore.